small business loan startup and family

spouse is asking for loan to partner up with friend. I myself am not entrepreneurial, I generally need all my p's and q's crossed and dotted. Im inclined to say no after having been drawn into the process, I am FT, STEM career, with OT and travel demands and do not want to be an active business partner or pay for the privilege of being the Lobby Boy, they are ESL beauty salon workers. but even as I end up reading the lease for them…[i.e. the tenant pays for this, that and the other thing that goes wrong with anything but the roof and brick wall, I get "so its ok, we sign now?"], making budget spread sheets, estimate operating costs…even before I google "start up a ___ business" to educate myself, I got some of the more common sense stuff on my own, I just don't see the same level of vetting in the driving partner who is outside the family nor really from either of them to my satisfaction, id be more comfortable perhaps if all this legwork was at least being demonstrated by my spouse. spit balling a number but can't seem to get the point of how that number was decided or if indeed more money will be needed 6 months in is also important.

I know I don't have any rabbit in me so I never considered owning my own business more then a backyard cook who can sling a burger might fancy a burger stand for a moment, i probably over think things and sometimes to a point of inaction, particuarly if I dont know anything about the subject, its how I have learned to cope with work and school anxiety by getting all variables on paper. but Im not seeing enough logical progression on the other side of the coin to alleviate that anxious itch.

logic scream no but guilt etc nag about helping family etc.

even if i just sign the money away and want never think about being repaid, I think Im gonna be drawn into help get the operational things done, and I dont want to be in a position to pull another loan to prop up the business nor see problems come up as "surprises" with all the resources out there for business plans, etc, having to hold back an "I told you so".

any experiences(positive or negative) for a non-business type navigating the pitfalls of business, particularly with family?


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