Looking for feedback for about me page? (draft)

So I wanted to be very raw and honest about my brand, and open up my emotions to my consumers and really be honest about who I am and what I'm trying to do, mainly for my clothing brand https://citruskill.com/shop

At the moment, I wanted to just the words flow out, without adulterating any of it… Just trying to be honest with myself and others I don't want to mess with it at the moment, instead see what other people think of it first, and then work from there… I screwed up badly last time, https://www.reddit.com/r/smallbusiness/comments/6o5qeh/improving_my_about_us_page/

And this time, I wish to learn from my mistake and tread slowly and carefully top to bottom, and solidify at each step.

WRITTEN BELOW is the draft to the about me page…

I want to solidify and strengthen the actual draft itself, before I integrate it into any coding, visuals or site aesthetics.

"I feel you're a person who at-least deserves something that complements your individuality, and not just something that makes you look like everyone else, I mean, even if you really want to be, you shouldn't…

Even if I don't know who you are, I know you enough to know you're not like anyone else, and alot of clothing brands try to sell you memes, or colorless threads… Ironic, counter intuitive joke shirts… It's nice and all, but is it you? If clothing is supposed to be a physical personification of your being, why do you wear something that everyone else is going to wear?

I never really gave a shit about who I was, or who I am supposed to be. I'm a soul, i'm not my status, or my occupation, i'm not who I look… I'm an individual, and that's a beautiful thing. Why throw that all away just so other people would accept you as part of them, you don't have to be part of anybody.

I will tell you right now, none of the clothes on this website were made for you, I don't give a shit about what sells, or what people are into right now, or what trends. Fuck all of that. I designed clothing that I like, that I think looks cool, that I would throw on in the morning and gladly wear, or tear through my room just so I can wear it outside, or maybe even grab it from the floor when it's dirty, wrinkled because going outside and being seen in it, would be so fucking worth it. I design shit people actually want to wear, fun clothes with bright colors, kicking shapes, pounding imagery.

Because I like that, and I know you're not a zombie, you're a person who loves to watch tv shows or play video games about them, but you're not one, you're more than that, you're an individual, and that's pretty fucking awesome in my opinion.

Stand up. No one has the right to tell you what to do anymore. You're not a slave. You don't need to wear clothing just because it matches your socks, fuck all of that, write your own rules, and be your own person.

I know it might sound scary, because life is so ambiguous and complex. But you were born on this planet, and whether it as an accident you were conceived, the fact you exist wasn't an accident, that shit's on purpose, you're here to do something awesome, and I know that for sure. Don't doubt yourself, no matter what other people tell you, you're not wrong and you never were, stop correcting yourself. People aren't psychic, they don't have ESP, and they for certain can't determine the beginning or end of your life, so why let them decide your present? Why make you work for something you're already entitled to? Being loved, being who you are, being a person.

The whole world is complete bullshit and you're not going to fall for any of it. Stop letting others use you as a vessel to expand their identity and esoteric being, because in all likelihood, those people do not have one, and need other people to act as their mindless slaves so they can feed their endless misery and suffering.

You can free yourself.

I did.

I used to be complete garbage at school. Mostly because I loved to draw, I loved to create. I didn't like being told what to do…

Then my GPA sunk, it was awful… I changed every facet of my being hoping I could one day get into a good college.

But then I fell into depression… I hated myself for all of my mistakes and everything I did… I was inadequate.

Then I decided I didn't need to be like all of those other people. I was fine. I AM fine.

So I stayed home with my parents, and just slowed down. I didn't worry about whether I'm good enough or not, I lived the life I wanted. I decided not to go to college, because I hated school, I didn't want to go back! I started a t-shirt business, and here I am, living with my mom and dad, I'm not going to college, no real job… Nothing about any of it is sexy or normal, but does it need to be? I love it here. It's my home, and i'm surrounded by the support I need to grow… I'm really lucky to have the live I currently live…

I want to help you appreciate the same thing too… I want you to live your life, the way you feel happy with, on a second to second basis, to love yourself constantly, and not constantly try to fix the beautiful person you already are."

Does anyone have any thoughts on it? Thank you very much.


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